September 2010
Reason #74 Why I Like Twitter: Amber Taylor And...
@amberlynntaylor: You can't get diseases from a bird.
@laurenhummel: YES YOU CAN!!!! DON'T LET THE BIRDS TELL YOU OTHERWISE!!! OR ELSE THEY WIN.
August 2010
humdogmillionaire:
ohnewsroom:
Reporter: “What does STET stand for?”
Associate Editor: “It’s Latin for Apple-Z.”
“You know the results of the latest Gallup Poll? Half the country never even...”
– Ben Bradlee, All The President’s Men
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“Either people walk round dressed as chickens or they listen to Beethoven.”
– John Cleese
“I myself think to have a cat is more important than to have a Bible.”
– R.H. Blyth
I love email spam. Just received this:
Hello Dear I came here to look for my second half, my soul mate, my friend. It is interesting to tell about myself to you, as I haven’t seen you ever before. But I feel something inside. I feel like a little sign of hope that I am not doing this in vain. I feel that you have the friendly soul to mine. What I want to find is Love. Yes, Love from the big letter. Love demands everything - to...
“There is no mistaking a real book when one meets it. It is like falling in love.”
– Christopher Morley
Hummingbirds, Maggots & Dr Pepper
Yeah, yeah I know. These have been posted and forwarded a million times by other people, but I was just in the mood. I present to you Bad Analogies from High School Essays. Enjoy:
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at...
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Today is the 5-year anniversary of the release of Jack’s Mannequin’s Everything in Transit, as well as lead singer/pianist Andrew McMahon’s successful bone marrow transplant from his sister, Katie. Fitting, as my own grandfather recovers from his surgery earlier today.
What’s even weirder is last night’s dream about Andrew, and I had forgotten that today’s the...
“Don’t be agnostic - be something.”
– Charles Darwin
“God will not look you over for medals, degrees, or diplomas, but for scars.”
– Elbert Hubbard
“No one worth possessing can be quite possessed.”
– Sara Teasdale
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From Rolling Stone:
The struggling music industry hit a new low last week: Only 4.95 million albums were sold in the U.S. between August 8th and 14th — the lowest total since Nielsen SoundScan began tracking numbers in 1991. The one other time album sales fell short of five million copies? Earlier this year, during the week ending May 30th, when 4.98 million albums sold.
“If you can’t answer a man’s arguments, all is not lost; you can...”
– Elbert Hubbard
The girl cast in 'Dragon Tattoo' - EW.com →
That’s because Lisbeth Salander, even when you do get to know her, has a certain distant, mysterious, and forbidding punk-ghost quality. She never ingratiates, the way that a conventional movie star does. She’s sneaky and remote and a touch sociopathic, slinking in the shadows of her torment — a self-styled cipher-avenger. In a certain sense, the actress who plays her has to vanish emotionally,...
A Super Race of Smart People?
Oh my dear god. I just received the following letter in the mail. Oh my god oh my god oh my god. Just read it:
—-
Dear Duke TIP Talent Search Alumnus:
We are writing to you with much enthusiasm! Recently, the Duke Talent Identification Program (Duke TIP) was awarded a grant from the John Templeton Foundation for identifying genetic markers of intellectual functioning. This will be...
“One can’t be angry when one looks at a penguin.”
– John Ruskin
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“She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of...”
– Woody Allen
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“When angry, count four;
when very angry, swear.”
– Mark Twain
“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why flight attendants want to pull the chute; by... →
Fell in love with this… This is how a column should be written. Besides, I agree with it.
Editor’s note: Elliott Hester is a travel writer, former syndicated columnist and author of “Plane Insanity: A Flight Attendant’s Tales of Sex, Rage and Queasiness at 30,000 Feet.” He works as a flight attendant.
Sao Paulo, Brazil (CNN) — In a few short days, JetBlue...
The puppy is named. I would like to introduce you to the one and only…
Finn Coggan.
“Hey guys! Pie! P-I-A!”
– Timmy Moritz, love of my life
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Journalism Jokes
The #partylikeajournalist hashtag on Twitter might be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Samples:
Copy editor, explaining just how terrible a restaurant was: “Let me put it this way: The menu font was Comic Sans.”
I tried to edit my 37 inch story down to 25 inches. It’s now 40 inches.
Goat tried to eat finger. 4-H’er tried to steal my food. Only taking shots I know...
A Masterpiece of Nature? Yuck! →
via The New York Times
by Natalie Angier
They are, by our standards, ugly animals — maybe cute ugly, more often just ugly ugly. And though the science of ugliness lags behind investigations into the evolution of beauty and the metrics of a supermodel’s face, a few researchers are taking a crack at understanding why we find certain animals unsightly even when they don’t threaten us with venom or...
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
– Winston Churchill 